Reflecting on the word "occupied"

I have an obsessive-compulsive relationship with words. I am obsessed with understanding every possible meaning and manipulation of words so that I can compulsively arrange them and play with them on a shelf in my mind. Lately, I've been reflecting on the word "occupied" and thinking about how we occupy space. With words, with our bodies, with smog from cars left to warm up, with buildings that block out the sky, during sex, how are you occupied? How are YOU colonized? Hmm...?

What does it mean to occupy something? Is there a power there? Why?
Today was interesting for me. First I went to bed last night at 1 am and got up at 430 am because I was having weird dreams so I decided to get up and clean ("like you do" when you can' t sleep right?) Well anyway, I cleaned my apartment and did yoga (which was great) and then I happened to notice the sunrise and it was so beautiful. I went for a long (cold) walk this morning and kept thinking how odd it was that my nose and throat burned like hell. The sky is finally clearer than it's been all week (or last week) but hey, you can smell and taste stuff in the air that I really don't think belongs there. Despite this, it was so gorgeous out this morning, it made me very happy.

Later in the morning, I was given a ticket for occupying a space too long so now, instead of throwing another quarter in a stupid fascist machine (why fascist, because you can't reason with a fucking machine that's flashing stupidly at you), I'll owe BSU a happy ten dollar fine. That sucks, but I'm still in a pretty up mood. Pretty up the smog. Pretty up the insomnia. Pretty up the blog post on occupied/occupier/occupation. I've been filling the less cluttered spaces in my mind with good music and eating much better than I have in weeks so I feel better at least.
There's one song in particular that I've been listening to all morning. It's called "Closer to the Sky" by Michael Franti/Spearhead. The first lines are so good.

"I'm so very happy just to be here
I'm so glad I'm finally in a space with you
people say that we should never do this
but they don't, they don't wanna know the truth

You can try, you can try
to build a fortress in your mind
try to stack up all your things so high
you can try, you can try
to climb away from this life
but it will only bring you closer to the sky"

Anyway, back to occupying. Occupation. Occupier. Can you occupy a space with the gaze?
Can you colonize another's body with your eyes? With your thoughts? How will you truly protect the last refuge in your brain that the television killer disease hasn't infected/polluted/bought and sold? I wonder, whose heart do you occupy by the grace of their loving you? Who occupies yours?

I'm ranting when I should be studying...escapist tendancies and a severe irritation that there aren't 24 hour coffee shops in Boise. Oh well, one battle at a time baby. One battle at a time.

peace!


"I said, I think we need new responses
every question is a revolving door
and she said, yeah
my life may not be something special
but it's never been lived before"--Ani DiFranco, from "brief bus stop"