New Frames

Looking through the glass of myself will I ever be able to see you? Or value you? Or validate your right to be/exist/love/live as I wish to? How do we get to the point to which this is impossible? How do we get away from that point? Is this based in language? This ability to distinguish me from you in agreed upon words that form the frames through which I see and process what I see this you I somehow need to categorize?

How do YOU become my OTHER?

How do I become yours?

Are racism sexism and homophobia truly as "old as time" as some argue or are they more like a dead language resurrected when it serves purpose, a chiefly economic purpose, a way of ensuring my right to have more than you or to be and feel differentiated?

What would that mean to you then, if you were the one differentiated?
If you aren't following MY script, what words will you use then? Those I place in your mouth?
Or those you choke down, spit out and formulate from rage, sorrow and fear?

When did I learn to hate and fear you?

When did I learn to need to create a box to put you in?

Where does this mental file cabinet come from and who built it and how,
HOW do we dismantle it? This your issue my issue their issue way of relating is so
suffocating? How does yours become mine and should it ever? Do we even want that?
Is such a synthesis something to aspire to? What is lost to it?

How do you topple the systemic vocabulary of tyranny that is nurtured constantly in so
many minds, without becoming it? Without betraying the taste? Without giving in giving out or giving up power? Can't we have power without needing or having to wield it over another something or someone? Must we wear each other like an armband or experience one another only in the frames of ideology and idealism? The words swell the tongue and starve the mind.
I need a new vocabulary. The words I build with this one are simply sandcastles that wave after wave crash straight through. I want a new way of seeing. A new frame. A new way of speaking that privileges listening over the INSISTENCE of being heard. My prayers are spoken in this muted voice of wish want and wonder. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY can't this be easier? Why can't it be a given? Understood? Where were you lost in this translation of lovingly human equally deserving of life and love? Where was I lost in the definition of word scribbled upon the shadow of a drying ink stain mentality?

When did the hood slip over my eyes as the money slipped from my hand into the envelope that licked you, case closed? When did my hands grow used to dropping open in helplessness or clenching fingers into fist shrouded by shouts of just how willing I am to hate you, to hurt you, to forget you, to torture and even kill you if needbe? How did you come to see me only as an oppressor by virtue of my country or the actions of my government or the reaction of yours?

How do we erase outmoded words that by mere utterance, hurt? How do we begin anew? In this world that honors the narrowest of vision, the narrowness of heart and the shortest stitch of memory...how do we cut from our hands that which keeps us from reaching for one another touching one another and holding one another as human beings? Please tell me how to remove these stifling words from my mind, that choke, silence and blind.