Violence

When do children "learn" to be violent? Is this all children or just some children? Bullying isn't something specific to one gender, after all. I was picked on my girls as much if not more than boys. Yet today my son came home and waited until dinner to tell us that some damn "teenage" boy had STOPPED HIS CAR and got out and tried to grab him, punching him in the shoulder and back as he ran. My son is ten and fairly small for his age. Still, he couldn't describe the kid or the car and apparently NO ONE on a very busy street felt the need to stop it or to report it even. My son ran from him and made it to school but told the school nurse he "fell." After we began asking him questions about him he became upset and felt we were "making a big deal out of nothing." This kid had apparently been part of a group of kids who'd thrown rocks at my son and another child as they were coming home from school one day.

I can't understand why some kids would choose to target younger children. This kid is clearly doing this. What worries me more though is my son's reaction to it. Denial. Embarrasment. Anger. I'm glad he even told us about it.

I don't know if girls are targeted in this way by other girls. I know that most of the bullying I endured as a child happened right on the school play ground or in the locker room before or after gym. The issue of bullying has made for very disturbing films recently out of Hollywood such as "The United States of Leland" and "Mean Creek" and documentaries such as "Bowling for Columbine." Is it possible that there isn't an easy answer or an easy solution to it? I mean if I catch this kid, will that guarentee my son's safety or that of some other child? Maybe this kid is being beaten at home. Who knows? I wish I knew.
I suppose it doesn't really matter what I know about it. Bullying nations. Bullying politicians. Mass dehumanization. Mass objectivication. Torture. Abuse. Poverty and Privilege. Boys being taught to be "men" in the most NEGATIVE connotations of that word. Tough. "real men." "real men don't do pussy politics," is that it?

Jesus I'm mad. The crazy parental instinct (in most parents anyway) to try and keep your children safe really goes haywire when you find out that someone has hurt them, purposefully and without remorse or consequence. Should this be surprising though? We live in a nation that does this minute by minute to other people. We live in a society that devalues men and women and the earth. Is this a society that lives in mental wall lockers with the dimensions of a television screen and the aptitude of reality t.v. and centuries of "traditional family values" that still perpetuates the bullshit idea that violence against another human being is not only "normal" but part of growing up? To toughen them up. When does it become assault? When does it become domestic violence? When does it become child abuse? WHEN does it become a POLICY of war and torture? You can dislike these lines I'm arguing all you want. I don't know of any parent that likes the idea of seeing their child beaten like that. Still, I know plenty of fathers and mothers who will tell their children to stop crying when they're hurt or will punch them and "wrestle" as a sign of affection, often the only affection they'll get. Where do you begin to unravel this stupid stupid system?