Bleached

My skin is white
and I've never marked
otherwise
on any box
or questionnaire.

It has been bleached
by fear
history
and ignorance.

All traces of "Jap"
"slant eye" or "Oriental"
have magically
disappeared.

I have pictures of my heritage.
My family hangs them as decoration. It's okay to be "Asian"
on wall art, apparently.
It's okay to eat "Japanese" just don't speak it
don't think it
don't be it. Don't think it is something
YOU
can claim.

My brother knows an amazing amount of Japanese history.
He wants to learn to speak the language of a grandmother
he never knew.
I too romanticized and fantasized
wishing to look more like her
less brown haired, white skinned and eyes
as large and blue as miniature swimming pools.
Blind from years spent wishing
I could be that damned adopted Karate Kid.
Funny what movies
will tell you that history can't
and parents won't.

[Remember in the second movie how Daniel goes to Japan
with Mr. Miyagi he fights, he suffers, he saves the girl.
What happens to the people who remain, who survive?
What happens to those who have to clean up
after the "heroics" of others? Where are they in the sequal?
Are they brown or are they white? Rich or poor?]

My father said once that he used to tell everyone he was Hispanic
so that they wouldn't hate him
so that he could fit in. I wonder now though, what box does he check
for he has smaller eyes than I
and lovely tan skin.

For all his years of trying
he hasn't been able to remove
its earthy
"yellow"
tint.